When I no longer put what is essentially a spiritual longing on my partner, this frees her of a great burden — to make my life work, to fill up my abyss, to be the instrument of my salvation. It also frees me to see and love her as a real person, and to appreciate the real gifts she brings into my life. So as my devotional energy moves freely toward its deepest aim, it naturally infuses our relationship as well. I feel more devoted to my partner's well-being and her deepest unfolding; I want her inner jewel to sparkle too.
— John Welwood, Love and Awakening