Quotations Search Results
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Live in the Present
For the next week, monitor your language for signs that you are not living in the present. The key phrases to listen for: if only, could have, should have, would have, could be, should be, must be, will be, going to, and assuming that. One phrase catches it all: If [I did or experienced something in the past] then [this will happen in the future]. When you hear yourself using these phrases, substitute words in the present tense.
Monitoring your language for past-tense words.
The Best & The Worst
"I heard a great story told by Guru Mayi, the leader of the Siddha Yoga Foundation. The ruler of a prosperous kingdom sends for one of his messengers. When he arrives the King tells him to go out and find the worst thing in the entire world, and bring it back within a few days. The messenger departs, and returns days later, empty-handed. Puzzled, the King asks, 'What have you discovered? I don't see anything.' The messenger says, 'Right here, Your Majesty,' and sticks out his tongue. Bewildered, the King asks the young man to explain. The messenger says, 'My tongue is the worst thing in the world. My tongue can do many horrible things. My tongue speaks evil and tells lies. I can overindulge with my tongue which leaves me feeling tired and sick, and I can say things that hurt other people. My tongue is the worst thing in the world.' Pleased, the King then commands the messenger to go out and find him the best thing in the entire world.
"The messenger leaves hurriedly, and once again he comes back days later with nothing in his hands. 'Where is it?' the King shouts out. Again, the messenger sticks out his tongue. 'Show me,' the King says. 'How can it be?' The messenger replies, 'My tongue is the best thing in the world, my tongue is a messenger of love. Only with my tongue can I express the overwhelming beauty of poetry. My tongue teaches me refinement in tastes and guides me to choose foods that will nourish my body. My tongue is the best thing in the world because it allows me to chant the name of God.' The King is well satisfied, and he appoints the messenger to become foremost among his personal advisors."
To Practice: Accept without reservations the worst and the best things in yourself.
A story by Guru Mayi about the nature of the worst thing in the world.
Memorize a Poem
Memorize a poem. Find a verse that is especially appealing to you. It could be the sentiment, the vivid use of imagery, a sense of doom or of hope, that speaks to you. It may appeal to you in a way that you might not even understand.
Read the poem out loud to see how it sounds to hear yourself recite. Now start to memorize it, line by line. Memorize the first line to the point at which it just rolls off your tongue. Then go on to the second line, and continue putting two lines together until you have mastered the verse.
When memorizing, it's better to go back to the poem many times for short periods than to put in a lot of time infrequently. Ten minutes per day is better than one hour a week.
Recite the poem to someone special. Ask if he or she would like to hear what you've been working on, and stand up and enunciate clearly and with feeling. Then, when the mood strikes again, memorize more poetry. Some of my favorites are Rainer Maria Rilke's "Duino Elegies" and Lew Welch's "Ring of Bone."
Reciting poetry to match your mood.
Bad Language
If you have a habit of cursing and swearing, take a vow not to use bad language for 10 days. Do not take the vow for a lifetime; you will break it immediately. If you happen to break it before the time has elapsed, do not worry. Just begin again. Slowly increase the duration until it becomes your nature.
Breaking your habit of cursing and swearing
Gatha for Brushing Your Teeth
Brushing my teeth, outside — inside — underneath, and rinsing, I take the vow to speak purely and lovingly. Cleaning is not enough. When my mouth offers only wisely chosen speech, I sow beautiful seeds in the garden of my heart and life.
Offering only wisely chosen speech.
The Five Keys to Mindful Communication
Susan Gillis Chapman is a marriage and family therapist who has been studying mindfulness meditation for more than 30 years. She is founder of Green Light Communication and on the faculty of Karuna Institute in Cologne, Germany. In this engaging work, Chapman explores the importance of communication and conversations in our world. She upholds a we-first perspective to replace a narcissistic me-first attitude in our relationships with others. It is the me-first approach that lies behind our culture of mistrust and the rampant social problems of greed, corruption, and aggression.
In her mindful-communication workshops, Chapman teaches about communication that is closed (red light), open (green light), and somewhere-in-between (yellow light). She then puts the spotlight on the five essential elements of mindful communication:
• Mindful Presence (awake body, tender heart, open mind)
• Mindful Listening (encouragement)
• Mindful Speech (gentleness)
• Mindful Relationships (unconditional friendliness)
• Mindful Responses (playfulness)
Given the lack of conversations in a culture fast becoming more and more obsessed with texting and emails, this is a very timely book which paves the way for a more hopeful future where people will seek out fresh avenues of dialogue. We were impressed with Chapman's takes on learning to rest in the present moment, taking delight in the pleasures of deep listening, refraining from harming others with our words, and affirming unconditional friendliness as a fulfilling path of intimacy.
An examination of the essential elements of mindful communication.
Pirke Avot
Pirke Avot is an anthology of sayings of post-biblical Jewish sages. There is a timeless and universal truth to many of these pithy observations on life. William Berkson has been the director of the Jewish Institute for Youth and Family since 1994. He is also the author of Learning from Error: Karl Popper's Psychology of Learning. He has designed this book by providing three perspectives on each saying: the insider interpretation from traditional Jewish commentators; a historical take on the material; and a contemporary and comparative slant. These tools lend this classic text a heft missing in other versions of the book.
Just what kind of timeless wisdom can be provided by reading Pirke Avot? We can learn more about the ethical dimensions of the evil tongue, the spiritual rewards of discussing Torah, the necessity of overcoming pride, the importance of friendship, the gravity of insults, the role of manners and morals, the different views within Judaism on why bad things happen to good people, the art of paying heed to the two kinds of love, the value of generosity in our avaricious society, and the lasting power of humility. Of the latter, Berkson writes:
"Humility is the core virtue in the eyes of the Sages, as well as in the Bible. In the Sages' view, human beings have both good and bad impulses. . . . Arrogance unleashes many of the bad impulses whereas humility keeps them in check and enables our good side to flourish. . . . Real humility, then, is not underestimating our strengths or overestimating our weaknesses, but rather honestly assessing ourselves, and using our strengths in a way that benefits others, and not only ourselves."
A new edition of the classic text on Jewish ethics with contemporary interpretations.
For a Future to Be Possible
The Five Mindfulness Trainings encompass the essential ethical foundations of Buddhism. Zen master and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh delivers his overview of these practices in this succinct and morally stirring paperback. In the foreword Joan Halifax sees them as "crafting the art of living beautifully, honestly, and with strength and dignity." They are guidelines and not rules and regulations that must be followed rigidly.
In his discussion of the Five Mindfulness Trainings, Hanh discusses not killing, not stealing, not committing adultery, not speaking harmful words, and not taking in toxins under the thematic umbrellas of:
• Reverence for Life
• Generosity
• Sexual Responsibility
• Deep Listening and Loving Speech
• Diet for a Mindful Society
The First Mindfulness Training goes: "Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I am committed to cultivating compassion and learning ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, and in my way of life." According to Thich Nhat Hanh, those who do not oppose war are advocating the killing that ensues and bear that responsibility: "If, during the Gulf War, you did not say or do anything to try to stop the killing, you are not practicing this training. Even if what you said or did failed to stop the war, what is important is that you tried, using your insight and compassion."
We are in total agreement with what Thich Nhat Hanh says about mindful consumption in his assessment of consciously keeping track of what we put in our bodies and minds. To watch violent films is to water the seeds of violence within us and to eat junk food is to pollute our bodies. We can also watch what we say and be alert to how it affects others. This means not talking behind another's back or ever humiliating or shaming anybody.
As usual in any book by this Zen master, the author includes practices. Here is one to try when you turn on the light in a room:
"Forgetfulness is the darkness,
mindfulness is the light.
I bring awareness,
to shine upon all life."
Morally stirring commentary on the Five Mindfulness Trainings in Buddhism.
Fasting of the Tongue
Fast for two or three days from using untruthful, harmful, or hurtful language. Try to be aware of your language whenever you speak. Every evening, look over your day and review how well you did at the fasting of the tongue.
A chance to refrain from hurtful language.
Blessing Others
The Torah says, "If someone curses you, answer with the blessing, 'Peace be upon you.' . . ." Beyond responding quietly to negative speech, you are to go one step further and actually respond positively. We are told to offer blessings, which transform pain into healing. Just as it is a great mitzvah not to gossip or speak ill of others, it is an equal mitzvah to use language to bless. In fact, blessings are a daily, vital part of Jewish practice. You are to make blessings all day long; bless the food you eat, the people you interact with, sunsets, moments of beauty, even events like seeing someone you haven't seen for a while. Bless difficult times and situations, including the death or loss of a loved one. As you offer blessings you not only affirm the best in others, but bring the best out in them. What you bless increases and strengthens.
A way to transform pain into healing.