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Geri Larkin, The Still Point Dhammapada
We undertake the precept of refraining from false speech. We agree to make every effort to speak that which is true and useful and refrain from gossip. We agree to hold in confidence what is explicitly told to us in confidence. We agree to cultivate conscious and clear communication, and to cultivate the qualities of lovingkindness and honesty as the basis of our speech.
Lovingkindness as the basis of our speech
White Trash
"They are blamed for living on bad land, as though they had other choices. From the beginning, they have existed in the minds of rural or urban elites and the middle class as extrusions of the weedy, unproductive soil. They are depicted as slothful, rootless vagrants, physically scarred by their poverty. The worst ate clay and turned yellow, wallowed in mud and muck, and their necks became burned by the hot sun. Their poorly clothed, poorly fed children generated what others believed to be a permanent and defective breed. Sexual deviance? That comes from cramped quarters in obscure retreats, distant from civilization, where the moral vocabulary that dwells in town has been lost. We think of the left-behind groups as extinct, and the present as a time of advanced thought and sensibility. But today's trailer trash are merely yesterday's vagrants on wheels, an updated version of Okies in jalopies and Florida crackers in their carts. . . .
"The discomfort middle-class Americans feel when forced to acknowledge the existence of poverty highlights the disconnect between image and reality. It seems clear that we have made little progress since James Agee exposed the world of poor sharecroppers in 1941. We still today are blind to the 'cruel radiance of what is.' The static rural experience is augmented by the persistence of class-inflected tropes and the voyeuristic shock in televised portraits of degenerate beings and wasted lives in the richest country that has ever existed. And what of Billy Redden? In 1972, a country boy was made up to fit a stereotype of the retarded hillbilly, the idiot savant. Today his mundane struggle to survive can satisfy no one's expectations, because his story is ordinary. He is neither eccentric nor perverse. Nor does he don a scraggly beard, wear a bandana, or hunt gators. He is simply one of the hundreds of thousands of faceless employees who work at a Wal-Mart.
"White trash is a central, if disturbing, thread in our national narrative. The very existence of such people – both in their visibility and invisibility – is proof that American society obsesses over the mutable labels we give to the neighbors we wish not to notice. 'They are not who we are.' But they are who we are and have been a fundamental part of our history, whether we like it or not."
An overview of the role of white trash in America's narrative.
Voices in the Stones
A Shoshone Elder is quoted at the beginning of Voices in the Stones:
"Do not begrudge the white man
his presence on this land.
Though he doesn't know it yet,
he has come here to learn from us."
Kent Nerburn has spent nearly 40 years nurturing friendships with Native peoples. In reservation homes and coffee shops, driving in the company of elders through Indian land, he has listened and absorbed their teachings. In turn, he has shared their wisdom through his books and blog posts. He has served as project director for two books of Native American oral history — To Walk the Red Road and We Choose to Remember. He has edited three highly acclaimed books on Native American subjects: The Wisdom of the Native Americans, The Wisdom of the Great Chiefs, and The Soul of An Indian.
His three volume masterwork — Neither Wolf Nor Dog: On Forgotten Roads with an Indian Elder; The Wolf at Twilight: An Indian Elder's Journey Through a Land of Ghosts and Shadows; and The Girl Who Sang to the Buffalo: A Child, an Elder & The Light from an Ancient Sky — are filled with moving insights into Native American spirituality and its respect for the good Earth, silence, deep listening, friendship, reverence for all living plants and animals, the connections of life, generosity, and the differences between the Native way of life and that of the white men who have betrayed them again and again. We have profiled him in the Living Spiritual Teachers Project and created a 40-part e-course on his work, Practicing Spirituality with Kent Nerburn.
Nerburn sums up the essence of the Native way of seeing and living: "It is something about being human, about living humbly on the earth." He salutes their attention to the relationships of nature:
"They do not build, they listen.
They seek harmony, not mastery.
They value connections, not distinctions."
And he notes that Native peoples always teach by stories. So he fills this book with stories about his experiences with his Native teachers, using them to show us the depth and breath of Native American spirituality. Each vignette is introduced by a quotation from a Native elder – Luther Standing Bear, Ohiyesa, Sitting Bull, Chief Joseph, Black Elk, and others.
Nerburn has divided this elegantly written paperback into four sections:
The Native Way of Living with stories and commentaries on honoring the young and the old, taking care to make all people feel needed, and striving to speak kindly and with truth on your lips.
The Native Way of Believing with assessments on the Spirit and all of creation and the art of celebrating the natural world.
The Native Way of Dying with selections and analysis of grief, holding others in your heart, acting responsibly in your family, and making giving the greatest human act.
The Native Way of Knowing with material on being children of the Earth, the necessity of prayer, and viewing nature as a voice to be heard.
In the last chapter, Nerburn writes: "It is to the eternal credit of the Native peoples that they retain even the echoes of these beliefs and practices after five hundred years of concerted efforts to eradicate their way of life and their very presence on this earth."
A very special sketchbook that shines and shimmers with stories, insights, and epiphanies about Native American spirituality.
Dekalog: Eight
Zofia (Maria Koscialkowska) is an ethics teacher who lives alone. Her husband died years ago, and her son is far away. Arriving for her classes at the University of Warsaw, she meets Elzbieta (Teresa Marczewska), a translator of her books from New York. They had spent some time together in America a while back. Elzbieta is in Poland doing a research project on the fate of Jews who survived World War II. She asks to sit in on Zofia's classes.
A student offers an ethical dilemma for consideration; it revolves around a doctor, a pregnant woman, and her dying husband (the story portrayed in The Decalogue II). When Zofia comments that nothing is more important than the life of the child, Elzbieta asks if she can tell a true story that happened in 1943 Warsaw. A six-year-old Jewish girl is taken to a Catholic couple who have promised to be her godparents in order to protect her from the Nazis. But at the last minute the woman says that they cannot lie about such a serious matter, that to be parties to a fake christening would be bearing false witness to the God they believe in. This action puts the child's life in grave danger.
In this gripping dramatic treatment of "Thou shalt not bear false witness" Krzysztof Kieslowski examines the impact our words and deeds have upon others. It turns out that Elzbieta and Zofia are the main characters in the story from 1943. The former was grievously wounded by this incident and has been haunted and humiliated ever since because the couple did not rescue her. Zofia was the one who refused to lie to protect her, and she has lived with guilt about this decision for forty years.
The two women do a slow dance of remembering together. They even visit Zofia's old apartment where the fateful events took place. The ethics professor explains the real reason behind her refusal to shelter Elzbieta; she and her husband, leaders in the resistance, believed a falsehood about the couple who were to take the Jewish child next. Reaching across the abyss of time, the two women confront their inner demons. With grace, they purge the past and open the door to a fresh future. Words — our witnessing — can kill, says Kieslowski, but they can also bring healing and a restoration to life.
A drama exploring the impact our words and deeds have upon others.
Help in Times of Need
Philosophical Wisdom
The wise man belongs to all countries, for the home of the great soul is the whole world.
— Democritus, Greek philosopher
Christian Wisdom
God created order out of disorder, cosmos out of chaos, and God can do so always, can do so now — in our personal lives and in our lives as nations, globally. The most unlikely person, the most improbable situation — these are all "transfigurable" — they can be turned into their glorious opposites. Indeed, God is transforming the word now — through us — because God loves us.
— Desmond Tutu in God Has A Dream
Philosophical Wisdom
The wise man belongs to all countries, for the home of the great soul is the whole world.
— Democritus, Greek philosopher
Christian Wisdom
God created order out of disorder, cosmos out of chaos, and God can do so always, can do so now — in our personal lives and in our lives as nations, globally. The most unlikely person, the most improbable situation — these are all "transfigurable" — they can be turned into their glorious opposites. Indeed, God is transforming the word now — through us — because God loves us.
— Desmond Tutu in God Has A Dream
Face Washing Reflection
May I see the image of the Holy One reflected in this face and in the faces of all those whose eyes will reflect mine this day.
May the words of my mouth be pleasing to all who have listening ears.
May I take care of this body, Your creation, and a vessel for the holy.
Seeing the Holy One while caring for your body.
Making a Heart for God
"The word vigil comes to us from the Latin word for 'watch.' Spoken of in the plural, vigils is the name given to the first liturgical service of a monk's day, a time when the community stands sentinel in the spiritual sense, displaying faith in the face of the dark night. Vigils begins in the wee hours, long before dawn, and lasts about forty-five minutes. . . . The period of time immediately following vigils is a continuation of what Trappists call the 'Grand Silence,' when they refrain from speaking. It begins with compline and lasts about twelve hours until the end of Mass the next morning;. . . Silence, as a monastic value, is less about rejecting speech and more about being attentive and learning to listen — a discipline that could benefit us all. It is not by accident that St. Benedict began his celebrated Rule with the imperative 'Listen,' not 'Be silent.' The difference is subtle but significant.
"Contrary to popular thinking, in fact, there is no formal 'vow of silence.' Silence is an important part of St. Benedict's Rule, one of the basic elements of the Benedictine way of life, and highly encouraged. But it is more of a value than a vow, more of a rule than a promise."
Dianne Aprile on listening bringing silence in a Catholic monastery.
The Buddha Walks into the Office
Lodro Rinzler is a teacher in the Shambhala Buddhist lineage and founder of the Institute for Passionate Leadership. He has an advice column appearing regularly on the Huffington Post. He is the author of The Buddha Walks into a Bar and Walk Like a Buddha. In this practical work, Rinzler takes on the challenge of right livelihood in times when work is scarce and the future belongs to those who are resilient lifelong learners. The author delivers wise advice in four sections: Live with Purpose, On-the-Job Compassion, Six Tools for Compassionate Leadership, Be Awake for Each Moment.
Those familiar with Rinzler's previous books know his special talent for practical spirituality. Here you will find thought-provoking material on setting an intention at work, monitoring your speech, five slogans for changing how you view your job, mentors and virtue, five slogans for empathy and compassion, benevolence, equanimity, fearlessness and much more.
The following practice can be used when trying to cope with an irritating person: "If you are at work and someone is giving you a hard time, it might be helpful to take out a mala and silently recite and contemplate the word patience 108 times. With each recitation, you can reflect on what the word means to you and what it means in this context. In taking the time to do that, you are slicing through the story line that surrounds your frustration and instead turning your attention to a quality you want to cultivate."
The Buddha Walks into the Office is a top-notch resource for those who are serious about doing spiritual practice on the job.
A top-notch resource for those who are serious about doing spiritual practice on the job.
Discernment Matters
"I have just finished doing this one-hundred-day retreat myself while living in my home monastery. During winter months, the first thirty days of above-the-river agenda (code for 'external life') got my attention, and I arranged my appointment and travel schedule so that I had the time, energy, and space to do all those little things that wait year after year for some lucky spurt of energy. I ordered my cell, clothes, music, archives, books, and things. I got my medical requirements from the deferred list to the done list. I made phone calls and completed a few writing projects that were pending. I restarted an exercise program and slept enough that fatigue lost its grip. I restarted getting to church and meals on time. I did extra duties around the monastery to be of service to those busier than I am. I found that I had plenty time for my sustained lectio — which was doing a continuous reading of the Bible.
"The second thirty days, I listened to my afflictions. I saw that my speech was depreciative and needed stricter control from my heart. The tongue is so quick, and in our culture we talk so much! I craved more silence, but it was more to do with self-management than to pray and be a contemplative. I also observed that past afflictions with anger had diminished and no longer was my mind hooked on past hurts, worrisome cultural traps, or obsessive propensity to overwork.
"The third thirty days were done right here in my cell. There was no way to get away someplace else. I had to learn solitude in my cell. The training in my cell was rigorous from the inside, and from the outside my whole retreat was invisible. While I had arranged a steady communication with a wise elder, I did not share. In not sharing and not being vigilant about ten of those days, I slipped back into ordinary time. Perhaps it is asking too much to stay in place, or could a stronger accountability arrangement with my wise elder have been enough to hold me to my resolve? Anyway, maybe next year during Lent I'll try to do these inner thirty days again, either in another place or with stricter accountability.
"The last ten days is to return to a 'new normal' discerning way of life. This part was wonderfully healing. I recommend this St. Enda retreat. I am sure it will be different for each monastic, but for me it was wonderful.
"There are other ways to find the same place where God is dwelling in an abiding way. To serve others with wholeheartedness is both helpful to someone else and to the one who is transformed by doing the selfless service. Service won't purify the soul unless the ego steps aside and the Holy Spirit reigns."
Mary Margaret Funk on how retreats polish our souls.
Forgive for Love
Dr. Fred Luskin is the author of Forgive for Good and one of the world's leading researchers and teachers on the subject of forgiveness. He is the director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project. In this appealing and enlightening work, Luskin shows how critically important this practice is in maintaining love in intimate relationships. Research has proven that 70 percent of the issues that couples disagree about at the beginning of their relationships do not change over time. What can change and deepen is "how to use forgiveness to communicate better, manage conflict better, see the good in your partner, and allow yourself to make common mistakes."
Luskin begins with a 12 question "Forgive for Love Quiz" and then looks at some of the misconceptions about forgiveness such as confusing it with reconciliation or thinking it is the same as forgetting. He then presents these sides of forgiveness:
• "Forgiveness is for you and not for your partner.
• "Forgiveness is taking back your power from being wounded.
• "Forgiveness is taking back responsibility for how you feel now.
• "Forgiveness is about your healing and not about your partner's action.
• "Forgiveness is a trainable skill, jut like learning to throw a baseball.
• "Forgiveness helps you get control over your feelings today.
• "Forgiveness can improve your mental and physical health.
• "Forgiveness is becoming a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell about what happened.
• "Forgiveness is a choice you make.
• "Everyone can learn to forgive.
• "Forgiveness is about today and not yesterday.
• "Forgiveness is making peace when you did not get what you wanted.
• "Forgiveness is acknowledging the hurt."
The key thing to remember about relationships is that we have to work at being more forgiving. An attitude of gratitude helps, but the heart of the practice is to live without taking offense when you get a no and grieving your losses without blame. Luskin outlines the four stages that couples go through as they learn to forgive and then presents his seven steps to building a better relationship. Here are three of those steps:
• Let your partner know how blessed you are. Love is a gift which your partner is giving.
• To know them is to love them. Try to see your lover's flaws and failures with loving eyes.
• Please give yourself a break. You are just as flawed, misguided, and hurtful as your lover, and you both need a good dose of TLC.
There is plenty of sane and salutary advice here. Here's one piece of it:
"A good relationship is worth the effort of letting go of an annoying trait in your partner and being as kind as possible to this person you are connected to. . . Every spouse, whether recovering from a brutal betrayal or simply dealing with a sloppy partner, decides every day whether to get up and dance with that partner again. . . Forgiveness comes after grieving your losses, and it allows you to move forward in your relationship with happiness and a positive attitude."
Sane and salutary advice on practicing forgiveness to forge a healthy and lasting love relationship.