"The adult world is, after all, built on the shifting grounds of friendship and competition. The double message of this society and economy are to get along and get ahead. We want our children to fit in and to stand out. We rarely address the conflict between these goals.
"It is common in everyday life to work with our competitors and to compete with coworkers. Even ballplayers are, at the same time, team players and free agents.
"Some of the most awkward encounters of adult life come when a success gap opens between friends. It is a rare person who has neither apologized for nor bragged about his own achievement. It is an equally rare person who hasn't felt a distance grow when a friend was promoted out of the coffee klatch or the neighborhood. Only the sainted among us have never taken out their rulers and measured their lives against their friends, even their best friends."