Transforming Reactions
"Developing equanimity is not a matter of telling yourself that you do not have friends and enemies, for there is no denying that someone who helps is a friend, and someone who harms is an enemy. However, since over the course of time things change, friends and enemies should not be fixed categories. What you are trying to accomplish is to stop reacting to some people with attachment simply because at the moment they are friends, and stop reacting to others with hostility simply because right now they happen to be enemies. As Tsongkhapa says:
" 'It is not the notion of friend or enemy that you need to stop but the bias that comes from attachment and hostility, which are based on the reason that some people are your friends and others your enemies.'
"By developing equanimity you seek to stop using the fact that someone is harming you or your friends as a reason for being hostile to that person. Instead, as Shantideva says, you should take this same fact and use it as a reason for practicing patience toward that person. After all, an enemy is a supreme opportunity for generating the important practice of compassionate forbearance, and thus is as valuable as a spiritual guide.
