“While it is vital to think about and share what you want at the end of your life, I believe the real work is preparing to not get what you want. I have shared with my wife that when I’m dying, I want a view of a natural setting. I want windows open for fresh air, sunlight, and the sound of birds and wind in the trees. As my designated healthcare decision-maker, she knows exactly what I believe will contribute to a good dying experience. However, I also know that the thing I desire at the end of my life may not be possible. It is impossible to know what we will encounter when the time comes.
“Ultimately, I hope I can surrender to the dying experience, and I can only achieve that if I can accept my circumstances, no matter what unfolds. I can train my mind to prepare for this kind of radical acceptance in this moment, when I am healthy, by cultivating mindful awareness. In my many years of mindfulness practice, I have been learning to be with things just as they are, no matter the circumstances. It does not work to be with things as they are in one context but not in another. If calm and an open heart is to be achieved at the end of life, it is necessary to begin practicing mindfulness and compassion in the face of disappointments today.”
