This is a book in which the chapter titles signal the content. The introduction is called “Confessions of a Big, Gigantic Failure (Who Learned to Love Herself as She Is).” This is followed by short chapters within three “Parts.” One is “Lies That Keep Us from Loving Ourselves as We Are (Or, Becoming an Imperfectionist.” Two is “Lies That Keep Us from Connection (Or, How to Quit Performing and Start Belonging).” Three is “Lies That Keep Us from Dreaming Big and Living a Full Life (Or, How to Try Things without Fear of Failure).”
The tone is American Christian. But there is no religious language here beyond God and Christmas, and almost no quotations. This is a book for discovering your beauty.
Each short chapter offers a “step” as if on a ladder toward achieving the goal of the subtitle. For example, chapter 7 offers “Step Seven: Stop Trying to Keep People Happy,” and begins:
“Ask yourself: Am I showing up in my life as a person with needs, wants, and desires? In what areas am I listening to my own heart? Where am I undermining my own voice to keep the peace? What is one need it’s time to get real about?”
Every chapter is framed as a “lie” we tell ourselves, or that we tell each other. The start of each chapter is a “Dear Diary” writing, setting the scene for what comes next. For example, chapter 8 is “Lie #8: Neighbors Are Weird” and its “Dear Diary” has “Today I met my neighbor. I told her I have four kids. She said that was fine, ‘As long as they’re quiet.’ ”
And then the end of each “Part” offers a “Letter from Me” to the reader, such as this one at the end of Part two: “Dear Friend, No more hiding. Figuratively or literally. Connection is scary. Asking for help is risky. But it’s worth it. You’ve got this. Love, Jess”
