“When we remember that we are as much of a mixed bag as the person we love, our hearts are filled with gratitude that we are loved, despite our imperfection. And that in turn allows us to reach out once again with an open heart,” writes M. J. Ryan, co-founder of Conari Press and co-editor of the bestselling Random Acts of Kindness series. Here she celebrates thankfulness as one of the central building blocks of a loving and lasting relationship.

The author is convinced that loving one person is the greatest vehicle for emotional and spiritual growth life affords us. Unfortunately, too many couples take what they’ve got for granted. By activating the spiritual practice of gratitude on a daily basis, they can set in motion many positive forces.

Here are a few of the helpful tips from Ryan. Don’t rob your everyday relationship of its pleasures by constantly expecting too much. As Jon Carroll once quipped: “An expectation is a resentment waiting to happen.” Let your love know that he or she is appreciated. Never skimp on compliments or other words of praise. Always emphasize the positive aspects of your history together; the negatives can be seen as bad weather — partly cloudy days. Remember to practice little acts of kindness; they brighten the day. Always cherish the third member of your relationship, the “usness” that has been created. Let your mutual love animate your service of others. Ryan brings home these joy enhancers with a potpourri of wonderful quotations that will spur your efforts to deepen your relationship.