Be A Lover of What Is
"I am a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. We can know that reality is good just as it is, because when we argue with it, we experience tension and frustration. We don't feel natural or balanced. When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless."
— Loving What Is
Listen to the Deepest Part of Yourself
"Take your time. The Work is about discovering what is true from the deepest part of yourself. It may not coincide with anything you've ever considered before. But when you experience your own answer, you'll know it. Just be gentle, sit with it, and let it take you deeper in.
"There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. You are listening for your answers now, not other people's, and not anything you have been taught. This can be very unsettling, because you're entering the unknown. As you continue to dive deeper, allow the truth within you to rise and meet the question. Be gentle as you give yourself to inquiry. Let this experience have you completely."
— Loving What Is
Prayer
"If I had a prayer, it would be this: 'God spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation. Amen.' "
— Loving What Is
Underlying Beliefs
"Underlying beliefs are the religion we actually live. They can sometimes be found just beneath the most commonplace, everyday judgments. Suppose you have written down a trivial-sounding, uncomfortable thought like 'George should hurry up so we can go for a walk.' Inquiry might bring to your awareness various unexamined thoughts that may be linked to 'George should hurry up':
The present is not as good as the future.
I'd be happy if I had my way.
It's possible to waste time.
If I slow down, I'll notice my suffering and won't be able to stand it.
"Attachment to these underlying beliefs will make life painful for you in situations where you're waiting or where you perceive other people as moving too slowly."
— Loving What Is
You Don't Have to Do Anything for Love
"Once you question your thoughts, you discover that you don't have to do anything for love. It was all an innocent misunderstanding. When you want to impress people and win their approval you're like a child who says, 'Look at me! Look at me!' It all comes down to a needy child. When you can love that child and embrace it yourself, the seeking is over."
— I Need Your Love — Is That True?
The Perfect Teacher for You
"Once we begin to question our thoughts, our partners, alive, dead, or divorced, are always our greatest teachers. There is no mistake about the person you're with; he or she is the perfect teacher for you, whether or not the relationship works out, and once you enter inquiry, you come to see that clearly. There's never a mistake in the universe."
— I Need Your Love — Is That True?
Letting Go
"Thinking that people are supposed to do or be anything other than what they are is like saying that the tree over there should be the sky. I investigated that and found freedom."
— I Need Your Love — Is That True?
An Open Mind
"The gentlest thing in the world is an open mind. Since it doesn't believe what it thinks, it is flexible, porous, without opposition, without defense. Nothing has power over it. Nothing can resist it. Even the hardest thing in the world — a closed mind — can't resist the power of openness. Ultimately the truth flows into it and through it, like water through rock."
— A Thousand Names For Joy
On Suffering
"A lover of what is looks forward to everything: life, death, disease, loss, earthquakes, bombs, anything the mind might be tempted to call 'bad.' Life will bring us everything we need, to show us what we haven't undone yet. Nothing outside ourselves can make us suffer. Except for our unquestioned thoughts, every place is paradise."
— A Thousand Names For Joy
No Satisfaction
"Nothing outside you can ever give you what you're looking for."
— Question Your Thinking, Change Your World
My Job
"It's not your job to love me — it's mine.
— Question Your Thinking, Change Your World
Don't Exclude Anything
"To exclude anything that appears in your universe is not love. Love joins with everything. It doesn't exclude the monster. It doesn't avoid the nightmare — it looks forward to it."
— Question Your Thinking, Change Your World
Loss
"The worst loss you've ever experienced is the greatest gift you can have."
— Question Your Thinking, Change Your World
