Give Up Resistance
"It is a waste of time and energy to resist what is. Then why do we spend our lives in resistance? Because resistance maintains our sense of who we are by saying 'no' to everything that doesn't support our identity.
"Identity is maintained by repetitious thoughts spoken by authoritarian voices telling endless stories about who we are and then judging us for not measuring up to some ill-defined standard.
"Identity is maintained by holding the body in particular configurations that produce emotional states that reinforce resistance. Examples: clenched jaw, tensed shoulders.
"Identity is maintained by never examining the belief that 'IF I FEEL THIS, I MUST DO THAT.'
"The message is that resistance is necessary because life is threatening.
"When resistance fails to produce the desired changes in our lives, we rarely let go, move into the present, and see other possibilities. We tighten more, tense harder, and attempt to control more completely.
"But resistance does not lead to change.
"Acceptance leads to change."
— When You're Falling, Dive!
Deeper Wisdom
"I cannot imagine a situation in life that would not be made clearer by letting go of programmed beliefs and assumptions and allowing a deeper wisdom than conditioned opinions to guide us to what might be beneficial in each situation."
— When You're Falling, Dive!
Compassionate Acceptance
"Practicing compassionate acceptance is like being in love
and seeing the face of the beloved
in every moment
as if for the first time.
"Why would we ever idealize becoming accustomed to or casual about the face of the beloved? To be in awe, in delight, in love every moment for the rest of your life — could anything be better than that? Could there be a greater blessing?"
— When You're Falling, Dive!
Safety Makes Your World Smaller
"Every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear.
When we try to avoid the discomfort that we call fear, our world grows smaller and smaller."
— The Fear Book: Facing Fear Once and For All
Children Are Naturally Fearless
"Children are naturally fearless; they are open to the world and to exploring and learning from it. But when they are repeatedly told that something they have done is stupid and foolish, they are humiliated, so that eventually they no longer find new situations interesting. They stop being excited about exploring the unknown, because the unknown has become another opportunity to be wrong."
— The Fear Book
Leave Fear to Itself
"If we are afraid of fear,
we feed it
and it grows.
If we leave fear to itself,
if we give it no power,
no energy,
(yes, this is possible!)
eventually it consumes itself."
— The Fear Book
Return to the Feeling of Unconditional Loving
"When we're 'in love,' the pesky, annoying little details of life are not a problem. If the car breaks down, it just means we have extra time together while we wait for the tow truck. . .
"YOUR ASSIGNMMENT: Find a place that is beautiful to you (preferably outside in nature if that's possible). As you are either sitting or walking slowly (slowly enough not to require you to lose touch with your surroundings), recall a time when you felt unconditionally loving. Perhaps you felt this for a parent or grandparent when you were a child, maybe for a sibling, for a best friend, for your own child, or for a pet. The object is irrelevant; the feeling is what's important. Practice returning to that feeling several times during the day, especially before going to sleep."
— Making a Change For Good
