When you notice you are in a repetitive relationship, or a familiar pattern, stop yourself from reacting in the old way. Do not take what is happening personally. Do not fault the other, or run away. Become conscious that it is simply a pattern repeating. Become aware that you have other choices. Do something completely different from what you might have done before. Instead of becoming angry, extend kindness. Instead of hating yourself, focus upon all you have to offer. Instead of keeping old patterns going forever, engage in new activities and friendships right away.
— Brenda Shoshanna in Zen and the Art of Falling in Love