In order to overcome the pain of transience we must learn the difference between loneliness and being alone. Unless we can be alone with ourselves, unless we can recognize and accompany ourselves, be at one with the changes life entails, no matter how many are with us, we will always remain lonely.
This is not to suggest we become a recluse or a hermit, or someone who has rejected companionship. Just the opposite. We must simply learn to become whole and complete within ourselves, free to be with or without a companion, free to depend upon ourselves, know who we are, not be led around by others, but walk freely on our own two feet on this precious earth.
— Brenda Shoshanna in Zen and the Art of Falling in Love