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What’s the Radically Generous Thing to Do?
As you go about your day, in every situation you find yourself whether it’s a request by someone, a traffic jam, or an irritation with your loved one, ask yourself, "What’s the radically generous thing to do now?" Then do whatever it is your mind comes up with. Notice how it makes you feel.
A recommendation for how to enact moment-by-moment generosity.
Kindness
Opening Words:
"There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; my philosophy is kindness."
— The Dalai Lama
Check-in/Sharing
Topic:
Buddha of Infinite Light by D. T. Suzuki is a commentary on the path of Pure Land Buddhism. Here's a story from this tradition about kindness:
"When a man heard noise coming from his yard, he looked out and saw neighborhood boys climbing up one of the fruit trees in the yard, trying to steal some fruits. So he went out into the yard and placed a ladder underneath the boys in the tree. He then quietly returned to his house. Is this not a stupid thing to do? The boys are stealing his fruits, but the owner does not stop them from committing an unlawful act. This man feared that when the children try to come down the tree, nervous about being caught, they might slip and fall, and hurt themselves. His impulse was to prevent them from being injured, not to save his property from thieves."
For Reflection/Journaling:
Share a story about a time when you were surprised by someone's kindness to you.
Check-out/Likes and Wishes
Closing Words:
"Be kind to people whether they deserve your kindness or not. If your kindness reaches the deserving, good for you; if your kindness reaches the undeserving, take joy in your compassion."
— James Fadiman and Robert Frager in Essential Sufism
To Practice This Thought: Find a way to be kind to an unsuspecting person.
Philip Goldberg on Kindness
View Philip Goldberg on Kindness directly: Vimeo.com/user5040879/goldbergonkindness
A program for individuals and small groups on the spiritual practice of kindness
Michael Berg, The Way
True sharing is a panacea, a genuine cure-all for the spiritual malaise that afflicts so much of mankind.
True sharing is a panacea
Creating Our World
For one day, make a resolution to meet everyone in your life with kindness. Let the car waiting in the driveway into the flow of traffic. Make eye contact with the tollbooth clerk. Reach out to a fellow classmate. Give extra patience to those people who press your buttons. Surprise someone with a random act of generosity.
Recently, a Tai Chi teacher waiting in line at a Dunkin' Donuts drive-in bought a cup of coffee for the person in the car behind him when he heard the driver honk. This set off a chain reaction in which the driver of that car bought coffee for the person in back of him — and it continued through the entire line. Studies have shown that when one person practices kindness, people three removes away become kinder. At the end of the day, write a journal entry, noting what actions you took and what effects you noticed.
A call to meet everyone with kindness for a day.
Gershe Sonam Richen in Tibetan Buddhist teacher
By "not accepting invitations" we deprive others of the opportunity to practice generosity.
Accepting Invitations
Sitting With Sufis
In her path-finding book A Baptist Among the Jews, Mary Blye Howe wrote about joining a Jewish philosophy study group and subsequently attending synagogue services, a holy day celebration, a Torah retreat, and Hasidic and Jewish renewal study circles. She found that this spiritual journey enriched her Christian faith. Howe begins this edifying paperback with a description of herself as a youngster riding a bike to the end of the block and then waving to the sky. When her mother asked her what she was doing, Mary Blye responded, "Waving to God." The Christian church she grew up in emphasized "the eternal, undying love of God" and so it was very natural for her to commune with God as her dearest Friend.
Howe still attends church and regularly goes to synagogue services. She states with candor, "My spiritual life is a rich blend, even as I feel drawn to and at home with some religious traditions over others." After attending a Sufi retreat in Austin, Texas, the author discovered a deep yearning to explore mysticism and the mysteries of the heart. Sufism offered her a unique mix that included an emphasis upon Divine Love, passion, lack of dogma, and diverse spiritual practices. "Sufism is helping me learn again to wave at God," she says.
As the great Sufi poet Rumi made clear, the mystical path of Islam (surrender) can be practiced within any religion. The emphasis is upon drawing closer to the Holy One, and this is done through zikr, a ritual during which Sufis seek to imprint God on their hearts through movement and chanting sacred phrases. A sense of God's presence is also evoked through a relationship with a shaykh or teacher, and Howe meets one from Turkey, Baba Sherif, who now leads a community in North Carolina. "I instinctively knew I could do or say anything around him and he'd still love me. He seemed both divinely radiant and utterly comfortable to be with." The author savors his spiritual discourses, which Sufis called sohbet. He says, "To be a true friend of Allah is to live Allah in your heart." She remembers that Jesus and the Jewish prophets emphasized the same thing.
Howe's spiritual life deepens as she practices meditation, zikr, praying, and using various disciplines to open her heart and drive out its impurities. She learns to treasure her dreams, attends Sufi retreats, and witnesses sema, the whirling ceremony that Rumi's followers practice to this day. Her involvement in Sufism expands her sense of God as One who dances and embraces every human being no matter what their religion.
Traveling the mystical path with others enables Howe to appreciate the value of kindness, generosity, humility, and compassion. She comes back to where she started — to an abiding sense of God's presence in her daily life. This brief but poignant account of Howe's spiritual journey with Sufis is an multifaith gem that ought to embolden others to act upon their deepest yearnings to draw closer to God.
An interfaith gem that ought to embolden others to act upon their deepest yearnings to draw closer to God.
Shin Buddhism
Recently retired, Taitetsu Unno was the Jill Ker Conway Professor of Religion at Smith College. He travels throughout the world as a lecturer on Japanese Buddhism, religion, and culture. Dr. Unno is America's foremost authority on Pure Land Buddhism which dates back to the sixth century in Japan. While Zen developed in monasteries, this path had more appeal among the common people. The author's explanation of the subtitle is as follows: "Buddhism is a path of supreme optimism, for one of its basic tenets is that no human life or experience is to be wasted, abandoned, or forgotten, but all should be transformed into a source of vibrant life, deep wisdom, and compassionate living. This is the connotation of the classical statement that sums up the goal of Buddhist life: 'Transform delusion into enlightenment.' On the level of everyday experience, Shin Buddhists speak of this transformation as 'bits of rubble turn into gold.' "
This overview by Dr. Unno contains four parts: Transformation, Unfolding Awareness, Life as Creative Art, and Expanding Horizons. One of the central elements of Shin Buddhism is deep hearing which enables individuals to awaken to the boundless compassion that sustains all of life. The Pure Land tradition emphasizes the inner discipline of self-cultivation which aims at the unfolding of humility and generosity. The daily intoning of "I entrust myself to Amida Buddha" enables individuals to grow in the realization of the true self.
Dr. Unno writes about a common practice on New Year's Eve in Japan. People go to a Buddhist temple and strike a gong 108 times to remind themselves of the delusions that hinder the ability to see the self and the world clearly. Awakening to reality-as-it-is is another essential element of Shin Buddhism.
An authoritative overview of this popular school of Buddhism.
Faith
Far too often in history faith has been used by righteous followers of one religion or another as a weapon against those who do not hold the same beliefs. Sharon Salzberg sees it in a more positive light. A cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society, she has been teaching meditation for almost 30 years. She is the author of Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness and A Heart As Wide As The World.
In this stirring testament to faith, she writes: "I want to invite a new use of the word faith, one that is not associated with a dogmatic religious interpretation or divisiveness. I want to encourage delight in the word, to help reclaim faith as fresh, vibrant, intelligent, and liberating. This is a faith that emphasizes a foundation of love and respect for ourselves. It is a faith that uncovers our connection to others, rather than designating anyone as separate and apart.” As a Buddhist, she adds, “Faith does not require a belief system, and is not necessarily connected to a deity or God, though it doesn’t deny one. This faith is not a commodity we either have or don't have—it is an inner quality that unfolds as we learn to trust our deepest experience."
For most of her childhood and youth, Sharon Salzberg carried a heavy load of suffering, pain, and grief. Her mother died when she was nine years old and she was sent to live with her father's parents. He had a nervous breakdown and entered the mental health care system. Salzberg first encountered Buddhism in 1968 while taking a course on Asian philosophy at the State University of New York. Buddha's offer of freedom from suffering spoke directly to her heart, especially the Four Noble Truths. In 1970, Salzberg went to India as part of an independent study program. A year later, in Bodh Gaya, India, the site of the Buddha's enlightenment, she attended her first meditation course. For the next three and one-half years, Salzberg studied with Buddhist teachers from India, Burma, and Tibet. The author uses these experiences as a backdrop for her discussion of the various elements of faith.
Sooner or later, we all yearn to break out of our safe and secure harbors. The heart is animated in "bright faith" to move beyond the familiar and the convenient into more adventurous realms of possibility. It is a call to leave behind cynicism and apathy for the unknown. The next stage is “verifying faith” when we deepen our understanding and try things out. Doubt can be a skillful means if it helps us discern the truth. Salzberg notes: "To develop a verified faith we need to open to the messiness, the discordance, the ambivalence, and, above all, the vital life-force of questioning. If we don't, our faith can wither. If we don't, our faith will always remain in the hands of someone else, as something we borrow or abjure, but not as something we claim fully as our own." The final stage is “abiding faith” which Salzberg describes as "the magnetic force of bone-deep, lived understanding, one that draws us to realize or ideals, walk our talk, and act in accord with what we know to be true."
Throughout the book, the author ponders the profound spiritual pointers she has received from the Buddhist teachers in her life, including such as S. N. Goenka , Dipa-Ma, Sayadaw U Pandita, Ram Dass, and others. They help her to see that the early suffering in her life qualifies her to teach the path of practice and perseverance. They challenge her to accept her buddha nature and to have faith in generosity, kindness and clear seeing.
This is the best book about faith that we have read in a long time. We find ourselves deeply touched by Salzberg's teaching that it is an animation of the heart. We also are buoyed by her persistent message that we are called to enter the vast space of not knowing. Mystery and faith belong together, and there is no room for the control game. We like the distinctions Salzberg makes between faith and belief. They seem especially cogent in these times when fundamentalism is so popular around the world. And finally, we would like to affirm with Salzberg that abiding faith contains wonder, questing, openness, and connections. Let's end with a quotation that sums up the essentials: "Faith is the ability to offer our heart to the truth of what is happening, to see our experience as the embodiment of life's mystery, the present expression of possibility, the conduit connecting us to a bigger reality."
Melds incidents from her life with a profound and always creative re-imagining of this important human faculty.
Give to Your Heart's Content . . . Without Giving Yourself Away
Linda R. Harper is a clinical psychologist, a workshop leader, and the author of The Tao of Eating: Feeding Your Soul Through Everyday Experiences With Food. In this richly textured paperback, she presents an anatomy of the spiritual practice of generosity. Each chapter contains contemplative exercises, and the appendix includes suggestions for discussion groups.
Harper believes that authentic giving is an expression of soul. She organizes her explanations around qualities in each letter of G.U.I.D.E: Give wholly to yourself; Unconditionally choose to give; Integrate your unique gifts; Delight in the act of giving; Experience the expanding capacity to give. The ability to nurture yourself in healing and helpful ways is important to increasing your ability to reach out and serve others. Harper uses the illustration of a hummingbird who while taking care of herself gives back to the world at the same time.
Outcome-related giving is the bane of three character types: traders, martyrs, and controllers. The first give expecting something back, always keeping score. The second ignore personal needs in order to please others; they are often annoyed when their sacrifices go unheralded. The final group give to see certain results and often feel like failures when the world isn't changed at all by their efforts. Each of us, according to Harper, has a bit of the trader, the martyr, and the controller within.
Authentic generosity or giving is a no-strings attached way of operating. It can never be depleted because there is a boundless reservoir in each of us that can be channeled into the world for good. We like Harper's ideal of giving "recklessly," never holding back or waiting for the optimum conditions. This is a salutary way of being.
A richly textured overview of the spiritual practice of generosity.
The Bodhisattva Vow
Geshe Sonam Rinchen is currently resident scholar at the Library of Tibetan Works and Archives in Dharamsala, India, where he teaches Buddhist philosophy and practice. This volume of his oral teachings has been edited and translated by Ruth Sonam. As he states at the outset: "The altruistic intention is the essence of the Buddha's eighty-four-thousand different teachings which are the medicine for all our ills. We need more than a detached interest in it. Only if we are fired by a real wish to become a Bodhisattva, or simply to become more kindhearted, will we make an effort to discover the way."
How does one develop this altruistic intention? Rinchen discusses some of the practices that help, including equanimity, recognizing all beings as our mothers, equalizing self and others, recognizing selfishness as the enemy, and seeing the benefits of cherishing others. Standing as a roadblock in the way of bringing about lasting happiness for all living beings is the ego: "The root of all the disturbing emotions which lead us to act negatively and the source of our suffering is our misconception of the self and our exaggerated self-concern."
Rinchen points out that it is nearly impossible to understand the suffering of others and to feel empathy towards them if we are imprisoned in fear. The pursuit of the Bodhisattva vow means moving beyond this fear into a compassion for all. A simple but touching example of this spirit is the following: "By 'not accepting invitations' we deprive others of the opportunity to practice generosity."
Practices to develop the altruistic intention.