Brands

"With a wave of the hand the customer declined the glass of tap water and summoned the sommelier, who read out a long list of bottled waters.

"The table tried a few brands not well known in California, at about seven dollars a bottle.

"While they ate, they went through several bottles. Amazonas from the Brazilian jungle was very good, and the Spanish water from the Pyrenees was excellent, but best of all was the French brand Eau de Robinet.

"The robinet is where they all came from: the faucet. The bottles, with labels made up by a friendly printer, has been filled in the kitchen.

"The meal was filmed by a hidden camera in a chic Los Angeles restaurant. And Penn and Teller showed it on TV."

First Lessons

"From moles we learned to make tunnels.
"From beavers we learned to make dams.
"From birds we learned to build homes.
"From spiders we learned to weave.
"From tree trunks rolling downhill we learned about wheels.
"From tree trunks floating and adrift we learned about boats.
"From wind we learned about sails.
"How did we learn our evil ways? From whom did we learn to torment our neighbors and subdue the earth?"

Newscast

"The entertainment industry thrives on the loneliness market.
"The consoling industry thrives on the anguish market.
"The security industry thrives on the fear market.
"The lying industry thrives on the stupidity market.
"How do they gauge their success? On the stock market.
"The arms industry too. Their stock prices are the best news in every war."