Gift of Gab

"As time went on, I began to see that the talks and lectures I was giving were part of my sadhana, my path, my relationship with Maharaj-ji. Using myself as an example of the twists and turns of the path kept me honest, and the more I kept my ego out of the way, the purer the message I transmitted. I painted with words, but as long as I stayed in my heart, the message came across. People would come up to me from the audience and say the evening had opened their spiritual heart.

"Although I use my path as a vehicle for others in my lectures and writing, my journey toward enlightenment is just my journey toward enlightenment. That's all it is. I'm just another soul trying to find my way home. Whether or not it manifests in a public role is a function of the cultural needs of the moment, and what I hear Maharaj-ji telling me is my dharma.

"I use my personal explorations of consciousness as a teaching tool, as examples of how to tread the path and avoid its pitfalls. I think I do this with more wisdom and compassion as I go along. I'm still here, being a test model for the boomer generation. We all have a ways to go!

"Since I stopped traveling after my stroke, my inner work has become more reflective. I've taken up contentment as a theme. Contentment is a good model for an aging person like myself. Bringing a soul perspective to aging is one thing that I can contribute now.

"As I identify more with my soul, I feel more detached from the drama of my incarnation. As I become more aware as a soul, I am less an actor in the drama. The soul is awareness.

"The shift from the ego to the soul happens through love. You realize that love comes from your soul and the other emotions come from your ego. When Maharaj-ji said, 'Love everybody,' that's a way into the soul, where soul awareness and love come together.

"That's also the place where karma yoga, selfless service, and surrender and devotion come together. According to karma yoga, it's not even my incarnation; it's just another incarnation to be offered to the Beloved. I don't know how the incarnation comes out — that, too, is up to him. He's writing the script.

"The ultimate nexus of full consciousness and compassionate presence is Maharaj-ji's state, sahaja Samadhi, all planes simultaneously, one foot in the world and one in the void, the divine absorption of Samadhi and the ocean of human compassion constantly converging in the moment."