Listen to Your Inner GPS
"Changing behavior is immensely painful. It is much easier to continue with the status quo or to abdicate responsibility and go passive. I know that patients frequently hit a wall at some point during therapy, thinking, This is too hard, I can't do it. I wish I had easy or simple answers for them, and I can only remind them that not changing, not taking responsibility, is not in their best interest. Their irrational emotions and destructive behaviors are sabotaging everything good about them and their lives.
"It helps sometimes if I describe what they are going through as a kind of road trip with the guidance of an inner GPS system. At some point in their journey, the GPS voice announces, 'You missed your exit. Redirecting.' This can throw people into turmoil. They don't know how they missed the exit, they feel lost, and they worry about never reaching their destination.
"When they hear this voice, they have three choices. They can ignore it and continue ahead, not really knowing where they are going. They can unplug the device and try to find the correct road by wandering about on their own. Or they can listen to the GPS and follow the directions for getting back on the right road. I encourage them to listen.
"Their new road will be unfamiliar and perhaps even circuitous. Their journey will never be as they first imagined. Much will be new territory, and at times they will wonder, Is this really the right way? However, I reassure them that this is the only way. They must redirect, they must change their route to reach their destination.
"My hope is that people will have the courage to listen to their GPS — acknowledge where they have gone wrong, face their behavior and change, or get help. This is a tall order, but it starts with small, incremental changes that will ultimately produce a sea change. It is possible to overcome emotional and behavioral flaws. Doing so requires taking responsibility. This means making a choice. On the one hand, you can be a victim and blame your brain function, genetics, or the environment; persist in denial; and avoid any insight. Or you can take action. Along the way, cut yourself some slack and give yourself credit for tackling the problem."
