All criticism attacks the criticizer. In biblical terms, "If you judge others, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you receive." It is difficult to accept this ancient insight, which is present in all major religions, because it appears to threaten our worth as a person. We believe that we are thought more highly of when we see to it that someone else is thought less of. If we wish to sustain a feeling of superiority, we must see to it that the people around us feel their inferiority. It is therefore crucial to our self-image that we believe our judgments can leave us and attach themselves to the person who is our target....
The rule is, Don't allow the criticism to leave your mind. Remove its source and repair the damage to your mind quickly.
This guideline entails no loss. First, until we actually release the disapproval, we only have the illusion that it's not a part of us because it concerns someone else. Second, we do wish to act quickly for the simple reason that the longer we dwell on another's weakness, the more we infect our own mind with this form of unhappiness.
