“Who we deeply want to be is rarely materialistic.
“Don’t believe me? Try it for yourself. Ask yourself, ‘Who do I want to be?’ and see what comes to mind.
“Then ask yourself, ‘What do I want?’ and notice how different your responses are.
“That’s because the first question works in a different register than the second. It pushes you to investigate a deeper part of yourself, the soul. This is where wisdom resides.
“The soul has no regard for form. One response to the question, ‘Who do I want to be’ may be, ‘a loving, connected person.’ But that can take multiple forms: a spouse, a kind neighbor, a supportive friend. So long as the deeper value is met, the form is interchangeable and our souls are fulfilled.
“In contrast, our list of wants is fixated on form. The desires are squeezed into rigid molds that falsely promise happiness. I want a four-bedroom, two-bathroom, craftsman-style home. My body needs to be a size 4 without cellulite or wrinkles. I want to be married and have two kids before the age of thirty-five.
“If you’re attached to a specific form, it’s because our media and culture idolize that form above the others, not because they’re intrinsically more valuable. When crafting a life, let your values guide you as opposed to letting your goals guide you.”
