“Most abuses of the [teacher-student] relationship seem to be far more subtle. The teacher may have real Zen insight, be normally empathetic, and have good intentions, but see an opportunity to fill some desperate or perhaps innocent-looking need or hole. They are unaware or forget that situations often look very different from the side with less power. Any time the teacher allows their own needs and desires into this protected space its safety and the exclusive focus on the needs of the student is destroyed.
“For example, the teacher may be tempted to use the relationship to satisfy their own needs for love and care. After all, they are human beings, too. To be human is to be interdependent and to have needs for love, friendship, respect, emotional support, and physical satisfaction. Any teacher, given the right conditions, can face a strong temptation to let their own desires take precedence over a student’s well-being. And, if their resolve to uphold the teacher-student covenant is not explicit, strong, and constantly reinforced, they may give in. This is especially true if they have not made a serious effort to build a family and social life outside of the sangha that (reasonably) fulfills their needs.”
