In his book We, writer Robert Johnson talks about a friend who caught the quality of most relationships with the phrase "stirring-the-oatmeal" love. This slow, constant, abiding, and repetitive act signifies the down-to-earth qualities in nearly all marriages. Johnson then salutes this process and says: "Like the rice hulling of the Zen monks, the spinning wheel of Mahatma Gandhi, the tent making of St. Paul, it represents the discovery of the sacred in the midst of the humble and the ordinary."

We need to keep coming up with metaphors and soul-stirring concepts to deepen and enrich love relationships. Arielle Ford is the international bestselling author of The Soulmate Secret and an acclaimed leader in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. In Wabi Sabi Love, she has come up with a fresh, sensible and accessible philosophy based on the ancient Japanese art form which finds beauty and perfection in well-worn, tattered, damaged, and impermanent objects and things.

One of the major reasons for the large divorce rates in America is the high expectations that couples have that they can create a perfect love relationship. Of course, when they come face to face with the unreality of this fantasy, they sink into frustration and anger at the other person. The Wabi Sabi approach would have us accept with good cheer the flaws in each other and even look for the good in these imperfections.

Arielle Ford shares the experiences of other couples as well as her own 14-year marriage to Brian. What comes across loud and clear is the practicality of the Wabi Sabi approach to love. Here are some of the themes Ford explores:

• Making the most out of little kindnesses
• Expressing love and appreciation regularly
• Moving from conflict to connection
• Substituting enjoyment for being annoyed
• Investing in new beliefs and habits
• Honoring humility and humor

These lessons prove that trying the Wabi Sabi approach to love could be a great adventure for couples who are stuck in a rut or want to renovate their marriage.