Scratch the surface of our sex-and-romance-crazed culture and you find a sense of disillusionment in many people where they feel, as one pop song puts it, that "love stinks." Or, as a young woman in one of my workshops expressed it: "If love is so great, why are relationships so impossible? Don't tell me I need to open my heart any more. My heart is already too open, and I don't want to keep getting hurt."
So right alongside the truth of love's perfection, there stands another, more difficult truth — the flawed, tangled web of human relationship, which gives rise to tremendous frustration, sorrow, and anger everywhere we look. One minute you're in touch with the love in your heart — you feel open, caring, and connected. And then the next minute, before you know it, you and your loved one have become embroiled in a conflict or misunderstanding that leads to shutting down or behaving in a heartless way.
— John Welwood, Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships