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Jay McDaniel, Gandhi's Hope
Imagining the world from a beetle's point of view is fanciful and some might ridicule it as irrelevant to any real concerns. But from a process perspective, such an imaginative exercise is, in its own way, a kind of prayer, because it is a way of sharing in the divine life. In process theology, God is imminent within all living beings as a lure to live with satisfaction. God knows not only humans but also non-humans with an incomparable intimacy. God does indeed know what it is like to be a beetle, even though humans can have only a dim intuition. Accordingly, a playful meditation on "what it might be like to be a beetle" can be a spiritual practice in its own right, a finite and human sharing in divine empathy for each and every creature. Equally important, such imagining can be a healthy antidote to a kind of anthropocentrism that too often, and unnecessarily, creeps into monotheistic consciousness. We monotheists all too frequently imagine the earth as a castle of divine making, designed for human use and pleasure, with the rest of creation as a mere backdrop.
Imagining the world from a beetle's point of view
Sympathetic Joy as a Spiritual Gift
I’ve discovered a new word and I want to share it with you. It’s called midding. Here’s the definition as found in John Koenig’s Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows:
midding
v. intr. feeling the tranquil pleasure of being near a gathering but not quite in it — hovering on the perimeter of a campfire, chatting outside a party while others dance inside, resting your head in the backseat of a car listening to your friends chatting up front — feeling blissfully invisible yet still fully included, safe in the knowledge that everyone is together and everyone is okay, with all the thrill of being there without the burden of having to be.
I’ve discovered a new word and I want to share it with you. It’s called midding. Here’s the definition as found in John Koenig’s Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows:
midding
v. intr. feeling the tranquil pleasure of being near a gathering but not quite in it — hovering on the perimeter of a campfire, chatting outside a party while others dance inside, resting your head in the backseat of a car listening to your friends chatting up front — feeling blissfully invisible yet still fully included, safe in the knowledge that everyone is together and everyone is okay, with all the thrill of being there without the burden of having to be.
Kay Lindahl, The Sacred Art of Listening
Letting go of the desire to be right or to be nice or to seek approval, not only when listening but also when speaking, takes work. Guidelines for successful talking and listening are designed to remind us of the purpose of dialogue — to listen for understanding, to share and exchange ideas, and to seek new insights that were not present at the start. It takes practice to loosen our attachments to our own agendas.
Loosen our attachments to our own agendas
Reflection Harvest Ritual
For a gathering of our Ritual Salon in the early fall I wanted to find a way to get in touch with the season. Traditionally the fall is a time of celebrating the harvest: honoring seeds sown earlier in the year and reaping the growth that has taken place. This harvest time also leads us into the celebration of gratitude in the U.S. on Thanksgiving. But to offer our gratitude we must take the time to recognize where there is abundance in our lives.
A poignant example of this happened when I went apple picking and was dumbfounded when I saw how many apples were lying on the ground around each tree even after loads of people had already tromped through the orchards filling their bags to the point of bursting. And yet there were still many apples around the bases of all the trees. I was overwhelmed by just how much is produced in this one orchard alone. Many of us are far removed from witnessing nature’s abundance in that kind of natural setting. But if we take a moment to consider our grocery stores, we are witness to it. Just think of the piles of fruits and vegetables you see there along with all the packaged foods!
For a gathering of our Ritual Salon in the early fall I wanted to find a way to get in touch with the season. Traditionally the fall is a time of celebrating the harvest: honoring seeds sown earlier in the year and reaping the growth that has taken place. This harvest time also leads us into the celebration of gratitude in the U.S. on Thanksgiving. But to offer our gratitude we must take the time to recognize where there is abundance in our lives.
A poignant example of this happened when I went apple picking and was dumbfounded when I saw how many apples were lying on the ground around each tree even after loads of people had already tromped through the orchards filling their bags to the point of bursting. And yet there were still many apples around the bases of all the trees. I was overwhelmed by just how much is produced in this one orchard alone. Many of us are far removed from witnessing nature’s abundance in that kind of natural setting. But if we take a moment to consider our grocery stores, we are witness to it. Just think of the piles of fruits and vegetables you see there along with all the packaged foods!
Practicing Empathy in Conversations
The researchers at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley…recommend increasing empathy through interaction. They offer four simple ways to increase empathy:
1. Active listening
2. Sharing in other people’s joy
3. Looking for commonalities with others
4. Paying attention to faces
Want to accomplish all of these things at once? Have a conversation.
The best conversations happen between two people who are considering each other. That’s the definition of consideration, after all, to think carefully about the effect of what you say and do and try to avoid upsetting or harming another person with your words or actions.
Four simple ways to increase empathy.
Exploring Our Differences
We enter the wisdom circle [or other small group dialogue] with a commitment to explore our basic inquiry: How can we continue to survive, dream, hope, and carry on in this time of change and transformation? How can we release rigid patterns of thinking and broaden our perspective? Let’s set aside philosophical debate and listen to each other with an open heart. Let’s begin by asking provocative questions, questions that push us to reconsider the values and assumptions upon which we base our lives.
[Follow the Wisdom Circle Process or other collaborative dialogue process, using the following questions:]
- In what ways are we humans alike? How do we differ from one another?
- What is a basic assumption you hold about why things are the way they are?
- What types of people do you feel superior to? inferior to?
- How is daily life different for the person who gets up every morning feeling part of the ‘majority’ of his or her society, as opposed to someone who gets up every day feeling stereotyped or marginalized by that society? Which person do you identify with?
- What does "honoring cultural diversity" mean to you?
- What attitudes toward people from other races or ethnic groups did you inherit from your parents and other ancestors? (This question, which has provoked many healing discussions among people from different races, was given to us by author Nancy Thompson.)
Questions to help people understand differences of culture and perspective.
Uncommon Prayer
"The only formal prayer at these gatherings [from the pirogi making and baking to other parish celebrations] – and it was quite brief – was grace briefly said before the meal and bon appetit! Everything else is as I have described it. Good news and sad, exchanged in trust and freedom. Memories of the departed shared, gratitude for the person and the life. The raucous glee at a wedding. But is such communal merry making really prayer? We may recall from church school classes that prayer can be praise, thanksgiving, intercession for others or ourselves, asking forgiveness, among other things. Prayer as we often conceive of it can be things we say to God, things God says to us – especially in meditative reading – or silence, presence with God.
"If prayer is essentially encounter and interaction, then the communal activity of Eastern church Christians making pirogi, baking nut rolls and Easter bread, celebrating anniversaries and weddings, mortgage burnings and the passing of a fellow Christian – all of these are opportunities not just for recited prayer but for lived prayer. How many times do we find Jesus at a wedding, like that in Cana, alongside a funeral cortege as that of the widow's son or the deathbed of Jairus's daughter or at Lazarus's tomb? He invites himself to Zacchaeus's house for supper and dines with Simon the Pharisee and numerous times breaks bread with his disciples and friends. He asks for something to eat after having appeared following the resurrection, and he even makes breakfast for those disciples out fishing all night – roast fish and bread over an open fire on the shore. The two companions on the road only recognize him when he blesses and breaks the bread, says grace, in the inn at Emmaus. Jesus's promise of always being present in the bread and the cup at the last supper was but one of many meals, many times of sharing in which he communed with his friends.
"When one considers all the petitionary activity in the liturgy, all the listening to scripture and preaching, the offering of the gifts and the sharing of the bread and cup, are the many details of a community event not liturgical? A grandmother offers her worry about her grandchildren. A parent expresses profound sadness in the face of an adult child's divorce. A senior recounts the path of a life, the meeting of a beloved spouse, transition from one community to another, children raised and sent on their way. Someone cannot contain the joy of a new baby in the family, of triumph in fighting addiction or treatment for depression. Friends worry about the future. Who will be the pastor after Father, who has been with us so long a time? 'Let us pray to the Lord . . . let us lift up our hearts . . . let us give thanks to the Lord . . . let us depart in peace!'
"As Amy Jill Levine observes, so much of Jesus's accepting the invitations of friends to supper, his eating and drinking with all kinds of people, even sinners, were parables enacted. Like pirogi making, the baking sessions and food fairs, like the Sunday coffee hours and post-funeral, post-wedding feast, all were signs of the messianic banquet, the gathering of all the children of God round their Father's table in the world, the age to come, pictures of paradise, but made actual already by joy and sharing here."
An argument for why parish gatherings and communal activities are examples of lived prayers.
Creating Community Anywhere
"Fran Peavey holds what she calls her 'annual accounting' each year on her birthday. She invites her friends to join her for a dinner, for which she cooks something special as a thanksgiving for the support and friendship extended throughout the year. Since people come who know her but may never have met one another, Fran asks them to introduce themselves briefly. She enjoys helping people from the various parts of her multifaceted life connect with one another. Once the food is cleared away, Fran begins her 'accounting.' She begins with the year in her life that has just passed, reflecting upon the accomplishments and highlights as well as the difficulties. She tries to share as openly as possible how the year has felt from the inside. Then she addresses the year ahead, speaking of the activities and challenges she foresees and the kinds of support she is going to need. Sometimes her friends ask questions or offer advice and comments."
Fran Peavy's birthday ritual to assess the year past and to foresee the year ahead.
Grand
This volume is part of the World Vision Early Readers series designed for very young children. The aim is to "show how much we share in common, no matter how different we look, what language we speak, or where on Earth we live." Life is indeed grand for the children around the world who are lucky enough to have a close relationship with their grandparents. Photographs by many different photographers pay tribute to the grandparent-child love, a love unlike anything else. Elders and kids can share stories, do chores together, enjoy the antics of animals, and are silent in each other's presence. Being with a grandparent as a child is a joy that lasts a lifetime.
A tribute to the love between children and their grandparents.
A Splendid Friend, Indeed
"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him. I may think aloud," said Ralph Waldo Emerson. In this delightful read-aloud book by Suzanne Bloom, a curious goose comes upon a white furry polar bear who is reading. He wants to tell his story. The large animal patiently listens as he tells him that he can read, write, and think. But then the enthusiastic goose becomes distracted and goes off to get a snack. When he returns the goose reads a note to the bear: "I like you. Indeed I do. You are my splendid friend." The big furry one responds in kind and together they do a little dance for joy.
Suzanne Bloom, the author and illustrator, has caught the essence of patience, sharing, and caring that is at the heart of friendship.
A delightful read-aloud book for very small children about friendship.