"Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image."
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Our spirituality is revealed to family, friends, neighbors, classmates, colleagues, and strangers through our everyday behavior. There are times when we put others first, genuinely listen to what they say, and treat them with the respect they deserve as sons and daughters of God.
But there are other times when we are rude and selfish, unable to be kind and respectful.

Let's examine our behavior in both public and private situations. Are we so absorbed with our own desires that we don't even acknowledge the needs of others? Are we able to empathize with others or are we oblivious to them? Do we attempt to really be present with friends by listening to what they are saying rather than interrupting them to make our own points? Can we control our anger or do we excuse our raging as necessary venting?

Underneath civility and polite behavior is a reverence for life that honors the goodness and divinity of others. Certain important character qualities grow out of this way of living: trust, truth-telling, integrity, optimism, generosity, patience, and gratitude.

In these contentious times, we all have the opportunity to become ambassadors for this kind of sacred civility. We propose that two groups are especially suited and positioned for this role.

Parents can start in the home by modeling good manners for their children, teaching such basics as saying please, thank you, and excuse me. They can demonstrate consistency in behaviors that fall under the category of kindness or being considerate of others. Cover your nose and mouth when sneezing. Knock before you open a closed door. Don't text when you are with other people. Don't talk in movies. Don't litter.

The second group of civility ambassadors are elders. With age has come experience not only with civility but with the consequences of a lack of civility. Ask elders who they admire and often they will point to people who treat others as they would like to be treated themselves.
Civility, they know, is not just an occasional thing. It's a long-term and consistent practice.


Next Post: Choosing Civility in a Rude Culture