"This book is about how I found a path when I didn't even know I was looking for one. For a long time I didn't know where I wanted to be; I just knew I wasn't there," writes Henry Shukman, a young man who was born with severe eczema, a skin disease. Later, his parents, both professors, got divorced.
Burdened by these painful experiences, the author had a mystical experience. He desperately wanted to take it to heart but found he was unable to do so. Next he tried transcendental meditation but discovered that he was more challenged by Zen meditation.
While in New Mexico to write about D. H. Lawrence, Shukman was befriended by Natalie Goldberg, a devoted Zen student and a best-selling author who saw writing as spiritual practice. After much anxiety and acceptance of Zen as "not knowing," Shukman attached himself to the Sanbo Kyodan Buddhist lineage which emphasizes practice with koans. (See excerpt.)
Skukman ends this memoir about his life and spiritual journey with his experiences as a teacher at Mountain Cloud Zen Center in New Mexico.
