In this spiritual memoir, James R. Newby writes about his descent into chaos following the death of his father, divorce, and depression. The executive director of the D. Elton Trueblood Yokefellow Academy and former editor of Quaker Life magazine believes that his dark night of the soul was a spur to greater spiritual intimacy with God and others. He writes about the five stages of his quest — recovering passion, processing pain, exploring prayer, dancing with paradox, and experiencing pilgrimage. Along the way, Newby provides some helpful insights into the value of spiritual discipline, patience, tears of transformation, waiting, mystery, and fellowship. On these pages the inner life of devotion and the outer life of service are firmly welded together.