An Excerpt from Love Affair by Andrew M. Greeley

Andrew M. Greeley shares his intimate feelings, dreams, and volatile mood swings with God in these prayers. Here is an excerpt on you.

"January 29, 1991 — Chicago

"My Love,

"As always I have mixed emotions on returning to Chicago — delight in this city, happiness at being at my real home, dislike of the cold weather, and anticipated weariness at the pace of life which I face — two airplane trips, lunch every day while I'm here, and supper at least half the time. I'll have to exercise great discipline if I'm not going to put back on all the weight I lost in Tucson.

"What a strange life I live — I'm not complaining. Quite the contrary, as You know from my recent reflection, I am very grateful for the Tucson interludes in my life. They have helped to protect health and sanity. But I'm still an odd kind of priest, on the margin and yet very much on the inside through my writings. I've got into this position, not by intent, but by doing the things I do and discovering, usually after the fact, that the institutional leadership and the clerical culture cannot tolerate those things. So much of what constitutes the ambience of and the matrix of my life is unintended. I'm 'neighborhood people' and I don't have a neighborhood. I'd like to, but not having one is the price I have to pay. I wander a lot and I don't like wandering, but again to do what I must do, it is necessary to wander.

"What is my role? I guess I have to say that my role is to wander along the margins, doing that which I have been trained to do, following the instincts You have given me, and saying what I think needs to be said.

"Not what I planned, but not intolerable either. So far the benefits far outweigh the costs, though I acknowledge the costs. Anyway, I thank You for everything and I beg You to help me to be faithful to my calling.

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