“No-one can love you until you learn to love yourself.
“No-one taught us how to love ourselves. Most of us grew up with criticism and comparison and conditional love as our constant childhood companions. Many of our parents, almost unwittingly, used shame and coercion as tools to mold us into the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect wife-to-be.
“As a girl, you always had to measure up to so-and-so’s standards: of behavior, of looks, of potential. We never heard the words ‘You are enough.’ No-one taught us how to love ourselves. That was a lesson we had to learn as we walked as women. Some of us are still learning it.
“But it is difficult to love yourself if you are still criticizing yourself, still comparing yourself to others, still holding yourself to an impossible standard. There must be a balance between striving and acceptance. Between aiming for our highest potential and accepting our imperfections and loving ourselves in spite of them.
“…It is as if we forgot that Allah (swt) created us, beautiful in our imperfections, in our mistakes, in our failings, and in our ability to rise.
“It is as if we forgot that Allah (swt) saw fit to bless us with talents and abilities, skills and knowledge and the ability to grow and progress.
“It is as if we forgot that Allah (swt) created every one of us, absolutely unique, to fulfil our equally unique life purpose.
“Some may wonder what is so unique about the purpose we were created for. Allah (swt) tells us in the Qur’an: ‘I did not create the jinn or mankind except to worship me.’ (Qur’an 51:56)
“Sees pretty straightforward, right?
“But Oh, the beauty of worship in Islam!
“How wonderful it is, what a blessing it is to have this holistic view of worship as a function of the heart, the mind and the body. To view worship as not just encompassing the ritual acts that we have been taught by the Prophet (pbuh), but countless daily actions that, done with the right intention, become worship, too.
“Acts that you perform every single day, as a part of the roles you have been called to play. Whether you are a student, a boss, a mother, a wife, a carer, or a comforter, you perform tasks every single day that, with a change of intention, can become 'ibadah' — as we discussed in the chapter on being intentional.
“So remember that, no matter what your stage and what role you are playing right now, you have the capacity to show up as the hero, as the winner, as you.”
