It has been said that family life is like an iceberg. Most of us are only aware of one-tenth of it, what we see and hear, and we think that is all there is to it. However, just as a sailor's fate depends on knowing about the ice under the water, so a family's fate depends on understanding the feelings, hostilities, and hopes that lie beneath everyday activities and rituals. Rachel Getting Married gives us plenty to think about in this regard. The screenplay by Jenny Lumet introduces us to people we want to know better. We find ourselves wishing them all well as they participate in one of those rituals that bonds family members together in festive and joyous ways.
Kym (Anne Hathaway) has been released from a rehabilitation program for drug addiction in order to attend her sister Rachel's (Rosemarie DeWitt) wedding. She is very tense about returning home and frantically reaches for cigarettes as a ballast. Her solicitous but loving father, Paul (Bill Irwin), greets her warmly; as usual, he wants to make sure that everything goes smoothly for both her and her sister. Kym takes a walk through the family home, clearly feeling like a stranger. She stops for a moment of silent meditation in a child's room, and we sense her emotional response to being there.
Kym attends a 12 Step Meeting in an attempt to stay grounded. Back at the house, she recognizes the best man, Kieran (Mather Zickel), from the meeting; he's also a recovering addict. She later has sex with him. Then she shatters her sister's momentary cheerfulness by telling her she feels humiliated because she is not the maid of honor. At first, Rachel's best friend Emma (Anisa George) balks at the suggestion that she give up the position for Kym, but she agrees to avoid any further histrionics. At the rehearsal dinner, Rachel turns her toast into a long monologue about her recovery program's emphasis upon making amends and then apologizes to the family, managing to make everyone at the table uncomfortable. Rachel and Kym's mother, Abby (Debra Winger), is in attendance, and she is very detached from both her daughters. She barely acknowledges her ex-husband Paul and his wife Carol (Anna Deavere Smith).
Since Rachel's husband-to-be, Sidney (Tunde Adebimpe), is a African-American record producer, most of his friends are musicians and artists. The festivities are propelled by an amazing array of musical compositions which convey the celebratory nature of the wedding. During the main ceremony Sidney sings a very touching a cappella rendition of a Neil Young song. After the wedding, there is a long section revolving around the reception dance party.
Director Jonathan Demme acknowledges his admiration for Robert Altman's film A Wedding, and we see evidence of that in the free-floating cinematic style of the drama along with the playfulness of so many musical interludes. But at the heart of Rachel Getting Married is a family tragedy that has festered in everyone's soul. Kym was the one most responsible for this terrible loss, and Anne Hathaway turns in a brave and bold performance as her character tries to make her way back into the family circle. The film also gives us an inspiring portrait of someone working a 12 Step program, trying to avoid too challenging situations and reaching out for support when she needs it. We come away with enormous respect for what Kym is doing.
But her sister Rachel is also a hero here. She has every right to be miffed that Kym has become a center of attention on her special day. Still, she understands her sister's vulnerability. After Kym is in a car accident, just moments before the bride is to make her grand entry, Rachel bathes her sister's wounds and helps her put on a happy face. It's the best she can do to signal that Kym is welcome back in the family circle. Forgiveness is very hard, and when it is not yet possible, compassion is the most healing balm.
Special DVD features include deleted scenes; commentaries by the filmmaker and cast; a cast and crew Q & A; "The Wedding Band"; and "A Look Behind the Scenes of Rachel Getting Married."
