Romantic love, as defined by psychologist Nathaniel Branden, is "a passionate spiritual-emotional-sexual attachment between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other's person." This updated version of the 1980 classic is neither a "how-to" book nor a pop analysis of romance; rather, it is a study of "what love is, why love is born, why it sometimes grows, and why it sometimes dies."
After looking at the evolution of love through Greek, Roman, Christian, Renaissance, and American cultures, Branden identifies the roots of romantic love — the needs to feel visible, to be understood, to be accepted, to be sexually appreciated. A good relationship is a blend of "basic affinities and complementary differences." People who seek "soulmates" are on the right track, according to the author, for it is essential to find someone who shares your vision of life.
The most notable chapter is the one on "The Challenges of Romantic Love." Branden alludes to the significance self-esteem plays in the solidification and endurance of a mature love relationship. Equally important are nurturing (creating an environment in which the other can live and flourish), open communication of one's emotions, admiration ("the most powerful support system a relationship can have"), and mutual sexual fulfillment. The Psychology of Romantic Love is an ideal work for marriage enrichment groups, counselors, and anyone interested in understanding and improving a love relationship.
